A Life Full of Love: Happy Birthday Lillian Grace!

On Saturday, September 25, 2010 around 7:45am I woke up with the urge to go to the bathroom (for the 5th time that night). I remember getting the urge to go and was thinking "whoa, if I don't get up quick I'm going to pee on myself." I jumped out of bed and BAM my water broke!!!
Being a Saturday, Jordan and I typically sleep in. When my water broke, I looked at Jordan in shock and managed to utter out the words, "Jordan, I think my water just broke!" I don't think he had time to really process what I had just said, all he probably heard was BROKE and jumped straight out of bed ready to get this show on the road.
After I was 100% sure my water broke and I wasn't just peeing on myself, we called our parents to tell them the exciting news. Now, in my birthing class, we learned that after your water breaks you have time to take a shower and eat something small before heading to the hospital. So, of course I was set on taking a nice hot relaxing shower and eat a small breakfast before heading up to the hospital to endure long hours of labor. Although, I was scheduled for a c-section three days later, I was super excited that my water had broke naturally so I assumed that I would be able to have our daughter the "regular" way. So, I enjoyed my shower and even enjoyed a little bit of yogurt while I was putting on my make-up.
By the time we get checked into the hospital it was around 9:45am we were the only labor and delivery patients there that day. At first we were checked into a regular sized room, but later we were able to move into a handicap room, which was much much larger. Jordan's dad was the first one to arrive at the hospital and then mom mom. It took two nurses and 4 attempts to get my IV into my hand (OUCH!). I still have the scare- my battle scare- which I will gladly show Lilly one day when she's a teenager! haha Anyway, I was so excited that I was going to get to deliver my baby the way I wanted and those doctors could shove the idea of a c-section where the sun doesn't shine! Little did I know, that since my c-section was already planned that the doctor on call pushed for me to have one anyway. Jordan and I personally struggled with this idea because we knew how tough the recovery would be for me and I wanted to experience holding my baby as soon as she was born. Jordan wanted to be my birthing coach. We had gone to the birthing classes and he had prepared himself to take on the job and wanted to be there to support me and the baby. I guess I felt like having a c-section would take away my womenhood. It seemed like a right of passage as a mom to be able to have your child vaginally and there was no way some doctor on call was going to take that away from me. Luckily, since I ate yogurt before coming to the hospital, any idea of having a c-section was postponed for 4 hours for the risk of chocking during surgery and dying! Ahhh so many scary things you have to go through to create life! But the good news was that Jordan and I had time to decide which birth plan would be best for us.
So, time went on and I was dilating perfectly. Lilly was even starting to move down the birthing canal on her own! When the doctor on call came into my room around 1:40pm to discuss birthing options, I was dilated 4 cm with no pain medication...so you can imagine how much pain I was in for being in labor over 6 hours! My worst fears came true. The doctor acknowledged my issues with having a c-section but she told me that the risk of having a large baby would be shoulder dysplasia. If that wasn't bad enough she then told me something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. She said that if Lilly got her head out that if she had shoulder dysplasis that she would try everything possible to get her out but if in 7 minutes she couldn't get Lilly's body out that my baby would DIE! OMG how on earth could someone tell me something so horrific like that in my condition. I just remember hanging my head and crying. I felt like I had to sacrifice my womanhood to save my child. Everything I had planned for my delivery had just went down the drain. How could I not have a c-section after hearing this! What mother in their right mind wouldn't have a c-section and risk the the death of their child???
At 2:00pm, Jordan and I decided that we could risk having our baby vaginally, but why risk it when we could guarantee her life and that at the end we would have a daughter. So, Jordan and I decided I would have a c-section. I remember being wheeled into the surgery room, getting my spinal tap, and hearing the reassurance of the nurse telling me everything was going to be ok. I remember Jordan coming into the room and touching my shoulder and telling me that he loved me. I remember the doctors telling Jordan to get the camera ready because the baby was coming out in a few seconds. At 2:40pm, I heard the most beautiful sound in the world... I heard my baby cry. When Jordan brought the baby down to my face, I remember touching her sweet face and thinking about how beautiful MY daughter was! She was screaming and crying but she was healthy and alive...which was what mattered most. She was 20.5 inches long and weighed 8 pounds and 2.5 ounces. She was perfect!
I still look back at my labor and delivery sometimes and wonder if I could have done it vaginally since she wasn't the 9-10 pounded chunker we were scared that she would be. All in all I'm glad that we went with the c-section. My recovery was fast and my baby girl was safe. I think that September 25, 2010 has to be the most exciting, scary, and amazing day of my life. Not only was I a wife of such a wonderful man, I was now the mother to the most precious baby on earth.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful and amazing gift, Lillian Grace St.Clair! Your mommy loves you more than you will ever know until you become a mommy yourself!