Voting

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Those 2 words that changed my life

 After graduating in December, Jordan and I decided that we would try to have a baby. We knew the odds were against us as I've had two doctors tell me that it would be very difficult for me to conceive since I have a slight hormone imbalance.  We thought we would take baby steps and just get off birth control and see where God leads us. Even though it was fun and nerve wracking thinking that we are "officially" trying to have a baby I tried not to get my hopes up. I thought I knew what lied ahead for us maybe ivf or maybe adoption. I spent many night praying that God would lead us to make the right decision and if it meant me never carrying a child then that was His plan for my life and I would accept His will.

I decided to focus on finding a teaching job. I spent many hours typing, editing, and rewriting my resume till it was perfect. I went to job fairs ready and anxious to find a teaching job. I had a mock interview with my student teaching principal and even a video interview with Allen ISD. I was focus and ready to have my dream job- to be a first grade teacher at the school I student taught at during college. I stopped focusing on having a baby, although it was always in the back of my mind, and stated focusing on my career.

 In the mean time, Jordan and I play on a soccer team called Blue Knights. I'm not the best soccer player by any means, but I sure do love playing and getting some aggression out on the field. We started playing in 2008 and have been playing ever since..well that was until one Friday night in January. This particular night, I was playing defense, we had no subs, and were losing...great night! During the whole game I was getting pretty nauseous off and on but just thought that it was probably the fact that we had no subs and were getting our butts whooped. The last 30 minutes were so exhausting and by the time the buzzer had gone off I was running off the field straight to the bathroom to throw up. In the back of my mind I was thinking maybe I'm pregnant, but then I quickly dismissed the idea since the previous month I was "late" a week and had taken 5 pregnancy test which all showed the same hopeless signs...2 negative lines. 

The next day, I slept till 2pm! Now, I'm a huge fan of sleeping in and taking naps, but sleeping till 2pm? I hadn't done that since I was a sophomore in college recovering from a hangover. I can remember the dream I had like it was real. In my dream I was coming out of my bedroom holding a baby. My husband's little cousin, Layla, was there sitting on my living room couch. I came out of the bedroom and handed the baby, my baby, to her. I asked if she would hold the baby so that I could get a diaper. I suddenly woke up from my beautiful dream and reflected on the possibility that this month maybe THE month. I told Jordan that I was going to go to Walmart to get a pregnancy test and I'd be right back. I blew it off like it wasn't a big deal but I just wanted to make sure I wasn't pregnant. I just couldn't bare getting his hopes up every month just to let him down.

I knew the routine. Open the box, peal the plastic off the test, and pee. I'd taken plenty of tests the following month, so I was a pro at reading false pregnancy tests. When I was finished, I looked at the lines...I saw a plus sign! I was in complete shock! I couldn't believe this was happening to me. I wasn't sure if I was even ready anymore to have a baby...not that I had a choice at this point,  but I was in such disbelief. I remember just sitting in the bathroom thinking those damn doctors were WRONG, everything they told me was WRONG, and I just showed them that I HAD a little miracle growing in my belly. I then went to the office and told Jordan those two magical words every woman dreams about telling her husband one day. Those two words that would change our lives for eternity, those two words that would change my title from a wife to a mommy, those two words that I thought I would never get to say....I'M PREGNANT!!!

Jordan and I getting ready to play some soccer! Go Blue Knights!

I took three pregnancy test just to make sure...
We told our parents to great news by giving them a baby bib that said "Baby's first Valentines" and a card that said congratulations new grandparents. 

No comments:

Post a Comment